Crazy, Crazy, Crazy
by warriorprincess27
Summary: Uhh... basically I was in a hypo mood and this came out... lmao
1. Oh, dear diddly, iddly

Kyo: It's a question of honour!

Kagura: What is?

Momiji: It's deplorable! What fun!

Haru: (sweat drop) Yes, indeed… what fun…

Kagura: (bounces up and down happily) IT'S THE SEA! I SEE THE SEA! DON'T YOU SEE!

Kyo: Yes Kagura, we happen to be by the sea.

Shigure: Actually…

Ayame: (sidles over) LOVE Actually, my love…

Tohru: Okay, let's pretend we're all in the same bed and one of us can fall out!

Momiji: Tohru, that's a stupid game. Nobody wants to fall out!

Yuki: (does Sailor pose) I'm Prince Yuki, I'm Prince Yuki…

Kyo: Damn rat… damn you all you damned all…

Akito: All these sexy boys, except for the pansy girl.

Tohru: Poppies! Let's pick Poppies out of the ground! Aww…

Haru: Erm… I suppose I'd better put in my little bit… Moo.

Hiro: (scratches head) Kisa! I'll be remembering you!

Tohru: (grins) Sorry to burst your bubble Hiro, but Kisa's not here right about now.

Kisa: Wanna make a bet Honda?

Kyo: Whoaha! Feisty kitten!

Haru: (pondering curiously) Now where have I heard that before?

Yuki: (doing the can-can dance) Feisty feisty kitten, feisty feisty kitten… Kyo, my feisty kitten… meow!

Shigure: (pouting) What about me? I'm a feisty puppy? Woof! Woof!

Tohru: (shaking head incredulously) YOU started this Haru.

Haru: (shocked) WHAT! How DARE you make such an accusation girly! I'm taking this to court, and nobody can stop me.

Kyo: SHUT UP COW OR I'LL GET TOHRU TO HUG YOU AND MILK YOU!

Ayame: (girlishly) Oh dear! I want to milk! Let me milk, please? Please? Let me milk the moo cow… I want to learn how, you know… so I can teach my kids.

Hiro: (thoughfully) Aladdin's such a poof.

Ponsonby: Now how the delightfully sunny hell did I end up in this disgustingly grotesque rainy day with you lot?

Kisa: IT'S A LIMA! A REAL LIVE LIMA!

Shigure: I DO think you mean 'Llama'.

Hiro: Don't go telling her what she means. She knows perfectly well what she means, so don't go telling her Mr 'I'm so good I have to pee outside'.

Tohru: Ooh, little kids getting up the big kids! Summer has finally come and passed!

Ayame: Let's all have sex with each other!

Kagura: (panting) What did I miss? I just had the best… no, what did I miss?

Shigure: Kagura, we know exactly what you were doing. That tree didn't hide you so well.

Kyo: Yeah, pig, find somewhere else to be a pansy!

Ayame: (dancing around joyously with scarves) I'm a beautiful jelly, and I like Aeroplane jelly!

Yuki: (attempting to ride a log) Giddy up, ya ya! Giddy giddy up! Giddy up, ya ya! Giddy giddy up!

Kyo: (leaning over to Kagura) I think he's lost it.

Kagura: (as equally quietly) I think you have too, you're actually talking to me… tee hee…

Tohru: Oh really, look, you don't want to be an American idiot!

Shigure: WHO is she talking to?

Momiji: Me me! I'm an American idiot! We might ...America!

Ponsonby: Oh dearie-iddly me, I'm back, how diddly-iddly-ow did I get here, you excruciatingly ugly lot-illy-iddly?

Hiro: (raises hand in victory) TRANSFORMERS! Robots in disguise!

Tohru: It's meant to be okay… who feels like bugs?

Ayame: I feel like a delicious jelly. If I rub these bits here, then I remind myself of green jelly! Yummy. I want to eat myself!

Kureno: (blinks) ... (sweat drop) ... (walks out)

Tohru: How d'you think I'd look if I, like, totally change my, like, total image and became a like, total, like, Xena Warrior Princess, like?

Momiji: Like, awesome! Like, really!

Yuki: (rubbing against the log) Oh wow, oh… YES! YES! YES! You know, Herbal Essences really DOES do the trick… it makes it feel like the BEST shaving cream ever!

Ayame: (hanging one of his scarves from a tree branch) It's time I leave this world. DEATH IS BUT THE NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE!

Kyo: (rubbing his ear) Whatever you do, do it quietly. I have a headache.

Kagura: Aww… he's hung over!

Shigure: Kyo doesn't drink! Not alcohol at least. He has a delicate immune system.

Kagura: Oh no, but that's what I WOULD say if he was hung over!

Yuki: (dancing exotically) As I-I-I-I-I, shampoo my hair, I really love, that Decore!

Ayame: (hanging from the tree branch upside down, having tied his feet to the scarf instead of tying it around his neck) The world is so sensational from this way!

Momiji: (does a handstand) You're right! What if we fell into the sky?

Yuki: THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!

Kagura: (leaping over everybody in a frenzy) You know, once a jolly swagman camped by a billagbong.

Shigure: Under the shade of a coolibah tree?

Ayame: Oh yes, and he had a sexy snake with him… a snake that tasted like jelly when he licked it (sensually shudders)

Tohru: Well, they packed up all his buckles. Let's have a minute's silence for Ayame before he falls into the sky.

Ayame: I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I WANT TO TASTE MYSELF FIRST! YOU, YUKI, SAW OFF MY ARM!

Yuki: (sniffs) GROSS! That involves total cannibalism dude! Let's NOT.

Momiji: (wails hysterically) WAHAHAHAHA! KYO'S PICKING ON ME!

Kyo: (indignantly) I'm not! I'm not even near you, bunny roast!

Kagura: (grins) But that's what he WOULD say if you were!

Momiji: (nods animatedly) Yes! YES! KAGURA! COME DANCE WITH ME MY LOVE! FOR LONGER THAN FOREVER!

Shigure: You know, some say she's still alive…

Tohru: Oh look, the waves are pulling away and creating a tidal wave. We're all going to die!

Shigure: (hugs Tohru and 'pops' into a dog) I'll dig my grave then! Just in case!

Ayame: I don't wanna hang upside down anymore.

Ponsonby: STOP! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! DON'T! WHAT ARE YOU! AHHHHH!

Everybody: (stares at the crazy man)

Kagura: (blinks) Let's leave him be then! He's very disturbed. KYO! COME AND CREATE KITTENS WITH ME!

Kyo: OKAY! NO, wait… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yuki: Ohh… ohh… wow! I went skydiving!

Shigure: (tensing his buttcheeks in a rhythm) I'm gonna, gonna, gonna, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my sexy little doggy humps… doggy humps and sausages.

Ayame: (trying to reach up and untie himself and branch breaks, he's now trapped under the tree branch) If this is what death is like, it must be boring. I'm a SQUASHED jelly baby…

Kagura: (dancing over to Shigure) SING IT BOY! OH MY LOVELY LITTLE LUMPS, CHECK IT OUT…

Shigure: (licking) You taste like… chocolate raisin chicken raspberry toast!

Ayame: (wails) WHY can't I taste MYself? WHY? WHY!

Momiji: (walking like an Egyptian) Walk like, an Egyptian… I PLAY THE ROLE OF THE NICE GIRL NEXT DOOR!

Tohru: (sings insanely) The GIRL I USED TO BE, has a terrible case, of mistaken identity…

Momiji: (touchingly) That's not me, that's just not me…

Tohru: YESTERDAY'S GIRL IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE..

Momiji: (wails) It's a TERRIBLE CASE, of MISTAKEN IdentityYYYY, WAAAEEEEEEEEE, WAAAEEEEEE….

Shigure: (giggling) Oh Momiji, darling, try for idol…

Tohru: (bursts into tears) Oh, the heartbreak, I can't bear it… I can't bear it…

Ayame: (licking his arm) I taste like chocolate jelly!

Kyo: (confused) Chocolate, or jelly?

Kagura: Oh, Kyo, I'm growing into a beautiful garden for you!

Kyo: (shrieks) WHAT!

Ponsonby: (pulls cover over his eyes and everything goes dark) THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! OH DEAR-DIDDLY-IDDLY-OO, out of the blue… let's go, MAKE THIS END oh, PLEASE!

**_The End. Kinda strange huh? Okay, totally whacked up. I was in a hypo mood and it all just came out… whimpers VERY disturbing… but yeah, I had fun with it…if you figure I was kinda influenced by music at the time...err… yeah. Lmao. Rightio! Seeya!_**

**_ps. I don't own any lyrics, uhh... Fruits Basket... or... anything else that isn't mine. Ponsonby is just a complete random, so I suppose he's mine... but yeah._**


	2. YOU! Dig my grave

_**FRUBA GONE… well, there's no word for this. Just one hypo mind and a cast of poor characters who probably didn't really deserve it.**_

Momiji: (pointing up) What's that in the sky? It's flying!

Hatori: (dryly) Generally things that are up in the sky _are_ actually flying.

Kagura: (looking up) Is it a bird?

Tohru: (confused) Is it a plane?

Haru: (sighs) No, it's Kyo.

Kagura: (indignantly) KYO CAN'T FLY!

Tohru: (amazed) Apparently he _can_!

Shigure: (wandering over) No, he can't, Yuki had a bitch fit and Kyo was its victim.

Kagura: Ooh, is it that time of the month for him again? (nudges Shigure suggestively)

Everyone: (glances at Yuki)

Yuki: (sitting on the ground, pouting and muttering to himself) I take this piece of grass, and place it on the dead leaf that's sitting on more grass. The dead leaf is me, the grass is a piece of grass, and they're both sitting on more grass. Like me, sitting on grass, with the piece of grass sitting on a dead leaf in front of me.

Tohru: (frowning) I vote… yes.

Momiji: YAY! YUKI'S FINALLY GONE MENTAL!

Kyo: (flying through the air)

Kagura: Let's play a game of leapfrog! Who knows where frogs live?

Haru: (sweat drop) How's about NOT.

Kagura: (furious) I'LL MILK YOU!

Haru: AND I'LL HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR FRYING PAN!

Kagura: (shocked) MY FRYING PAN!

Tohru: HER FRYING PAN!

Yuki: (furious) GIVE HER BACK HER FRYING PAN DAMMIT!

Ayame: (jauntily) I think Yuki wishes to play in peace. Would you like a piece of meat to gnaw upon Yuki?

Yuki: (has a mad glint in his eye) I shall have to sacrifice but one of you.

Kyo: (flying through the air)

Tohru: OOH! OOH! SACRIFICE SHIGURE! SHIGURE!

Shigure: (hands on hips, eyebrows raised) Excuuuse _me_.

Momiji: Carebears, Winnie the Carebears… it's me and it's you, silly old… no wait… friendly old… no wait…

Kagura: Aww… Momiji got jumped by the Carebears when he was born…

Hiro: My mother got hit by a tree branch when she was born. And hung upside down. And drowned… and resuscitated… and then mummified… and then resurrected. She was only 9 months old!

Kyo: (flying through the air, waves)

Yuki: (leaping to his feet) YOU! WORSHIP THE IRON FIST!

Momiji: LET'S PUT A BOMB UNDER KYO'S PILLOW!

Kagura: WHAT THE HELL! NO!

Tohru: (lovingly) Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?

Shigure: He's having a temper tantrum and placing his soul into the dead leaf of a digesting flower.

Kagura: A digesting flower? Oh whatever shall we do?

Momiji: WHAT? WHAT! THAT'S THE QUESTION.

Haru: I'm a cow. Moo moo. I'm a cow. Moo moo.

Kisa: (Raises eyebrows) And I'm a tiger. I can rip your head off and chuck it in the river.

Haru: WANNA MAKE A BET?  
Kisa: YEAH!

Tohru: (spontaneously) YEAH!

Kisa: YOU STAY OUTTA THIS!

Tohru: YEAH!

Shigure: (sighs) Really…

Kagura: Really really?

Shigure: (frowns) Err… Really…

Kagura: (excitable) REALLY REALLY REALLY?

Shigure: (eye twitches) Kagura… stop… really.

Kagura: REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY?

Kyo: (lands on Kagura) Mmfff… my butt REALLY hurts. HAVE YOU GOT HORNS OR SOMETHING?  
Kagura: (dead) NO! NO! I'M NOT DEAD! I'M JUST PRETENDING! (shoves Kyo off of her)

Kyo: (wails) I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A PAIR OF HORNS!

Yuki: (quietly to himself) I'll now take this grass, and go to the edge of the cliff, where, by holding onto it, I may gently and gracefully float away like Mary Poppins.

Haru: (bluntly) You need a cliff first.

Tohru: (blinks) He thinks he's Mary Poppins?

Yuki: (turns slowly, evil glint in his eye) And a sacrifice.

Kyo: YE… WAH!

Yuki: (evil) I will sacrifice… the cat… (turns normal) Tohru, hug Kyo.

Tohru: Okay!

Kyo: NO!

Yuki: NO! I WANT YOU ALL TO MYSELF! _I'LL _HUG KYO!

Kagura: NO!

Shigure: It won't work.

Yuki: (exasperated) GRASS! HUG KYO!

Grass: (flutters in the breeze)

Kyo: (tearing his hair out in stress) TOHRU! RUN AWAY WITH ME!

Tohru: Okay.

Yuki: TOHRU, STAY WITH ME!

Tohru: Okay!

Shigure: TOHRU! DON'T LISTEN TO THEM AND SIT ON A LOG!

Tohru: Okay!

Kagura: LET'S WRESTLE!

Haru: (announcing) AND IN THE RING, IN THE BLUE CORNER, WE HAVE THE WONDER BOAR, THE DELICIOUSLY SCRUMPTIOUS WONDER BOAR, TASTIEST WITH AN APPLE!

Kagura: And a cherry!

Haru: AND IN THE GRASSY CORNER, WE HAVE THE ORANGE FURBALL, THE ONE AND ONLY, THE ONE THAT SCRATCHES, GROOMS, AND CAN LICK HIS VERY _OWN _ARSE, PUSS PUSS KITTY CAT!

Kyo: Why do _I_ have to be a pussy?

Tohru: KYO! DON'T LOSE TOO MUCH BLOOD!

Yuki: (looking murderous) Lose it all… WHERE'S a vampire when you need it?

Kyo: (sighing heavily) FINE! You can sacrifice me. But on ONE condition.

Yuki: (confused) Condition?

Kyo: (blushing) You join in catch and kiss with Kagura and I!

Tohru: HEY YUKI! I FOUND A CLIFF! AND A SEVEN-LEAF CLOVER!

Yuki: It requires EFFORT to get all the way over there… (points at Shigure) YOU! Dig my grave.

Shigure: And WHO'S the servant here?

Yuki: FINE! I'll dig my own grave…

Ayame: (looking at Kagura) You look as though a tidal wave hit you.

Kagura: How do you KNOW what a tidal wave looks like?

Kyo: (heavy eyelids) Meow…

Ayame: I got hit by one when I was three.

Haru: (pulls out a gun) RIGHT! I'm going to shoot you all, so, stand still.

Kagura: REALLY? WAS IT WET?  
Ayame: Err… no… it was… a tidal wave of… bubbles…

Shigure: And sticky troubles.

Hatori: We had to run, on the double.

Momiji: From the tidal wave of… rubble!

Ayame: That wasn't it.

Tohru: (sadly) What happened to the bubbles?

Momiji: WAHAHAHAHAA!

Kyo: (sweat drop) What's with the evil laughter?  
Tohru: Let's all get in line, one more time… (steps to the left and steps to the right... imagine a dance)

Yuki: (crying hysterically) KYOOOOO! MY GRASS BLEW AWAY IN THE WIND! AND I CAN'T FIND MY SOUL!

Hiro: His… soul?

Shigure: I do believe he is referring to the dried, dead, leaf.

Kagura: THE DIGESTING FLOUR!

Ayame: That's not how you spell 'flower'.

Haru: She SPOKE it. Not SPELT it.

Kagura: How d'you know I spelt it wrong?

Ayame: (taps his head) Up here.

Momiji: (shocked) HE'S DEMONSTRATING INTELLIGENCE!

Kyo: He's gay.

Akito: WHO'S GAY? YOU'RE ALL GAY! GO AWAY FROM ME AND BE GAY! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH GAY PEOPLE!

Hatori: (sighs) There there. You need to do an Irish jig, my lass.

Tohru: Mixing Irish lingo with Scottish lingo… it's terrible!

Kyo: Oh, go dig your own grave, girl.

Tohru: LET'S ALL DIG OUR OWN GRAVES TOGETHER! WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN?  
Everyone: (sweat drop)

Kisa: Uhh… only if you were intending on dying… soon...

Yuki: (still sobbing) Oh… my… p… poor pathetic… s… s… soul… WAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!

Shigure: (getting on his knee in front of Tohru) Tohru, will you help me to find a life?

Tohru: That's a tree you're talking to Shigure.

Yuki: (head jerks up) A TREE! IT STOLE MY SOOOOOOUL!

Kyo: A tree? IT'S A TREE! (falls on top of Kagura again in horror)

Kagura: KYO! MY LOVE!

Kyo: YEOOOOW!

Shigure: (does a dance) And this is the end, the end of the end, the end of the end of the end of my friend. Which friend is the end of the end of the friend. Ayame's about to be squash-ilated…

Ayame: (gets squashed by falling tree as Yuki rips it up by its roots)

_**ps. Haru got his gun confiscated and he turned black and killed a whole city of people so he was in gaol, but then he escaped so it's all good and they're all happy and well and all good again.**_


	3. I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!

**_Okay, okay, you get the gist, I've forgotten to mention it before in other stories, but everybody knows I don't own Fruits Baskets and all that. Tee hee. I really should stop writing in my hypo moods. Poor Fruba… the cast don't deserve it._ **

Kyo: (despairing) I wish _I _was the rat.

Yuki: No you don't. _I'm _the rat! IT'S ALL ME DAMMIT!

Kagura: Guyzzz… seriously…

Slut: Hi! I'm a slut! Wanna rape me?

Hatori: You need help.

Haru: Are you gay Hatori? I caught you humping that log the other day.

Kagura: NO!

Haru: YES! And it was a MALE log.

Yuki: NO! IT'S MY LOG! I WANT TO HUMP MY LOG!

Slut: Oh geez, this is so boring. I want somebody to sex me.

Doraemon: EEP EEP EEP! WOO WOO WOO!

Ayame: Meow!

Kyo: _I'm_ the cat! LET ME BE THE CAT!

Kagura: Oh but Kyo, you _are_ the cat. _Be_ the cat and it will _be_ a part of you!

Tohru: GUYS! I MADE SOUP! IT'S RED WITH JELLY PLOPS INSIDE!

Hiro: Why has it got white in it?

Kyo: Kyo tipped the salt bowl into it!

Kyo: I did? Since when?

Kyo: I don't know… since…

Hatori: (writing in a notepad) Split personality… bad sign… crazy outbursts… no sign yet…

Yuki: (wails insanely) BUT IT WAS MYYYYYY LOG… YOU TAINTED IT! YOU CORRUPTED IT! YOU KILLED IT!

Hatori: (sighs)

Kureno: COCKADOODLEDOO!

Kagura: KURENO! DON'T BE RUDE!

Kureno: OH, OHHHHH!

Akito: KURENO! STOP! YOU'RE MINE!

Kureno: AHHHHH! YES YES!

Shigure: As I-I-I-I-I shampoo my hair, I really really love… REALLY REALLY LOVE, REALLY REALLY LOOOOOOOVEEEEE….

Yuki: (sniffles) My poor poor log… oh how corrupted it must be.

Kisa: KITTY KITTY HUMP ME!

Kyo: NO! I'M NOT THE CAT! I'M THE RAT!

Kyo: No, technically, you _are_ the cat…

Kyo: (pouts)

Haru: Rat? Or Cat? Make up your mind.

Slut: This is, like, so gay and… like… eurgh.

Kyo: Ratcart!

Kyo: SHIT! YOU'RE INGENIOUS!

Kyo: I know man, ain't it great?

Tohru: Ratcart? Rats don't have carts!

Kagura: OH MY KYO'S GONE INSAAAAAAANE!

Kyo: Have not!

Kyo: Have too!

Kyo: (rolls eyes) Ugh, you're just… impossible.

Momiji: Book him in an institution! We'll visit him lots and lots.

Kyo: Who invented cats anyways? They're totally useless…

Kyo: _And_ they leave fur all over the place.

Kyo: (coughs up a furball)

Kyo: (simultaneously with himself) LIKE THAT!

Kureno: OHHH! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Akito: KURENO! STOP! NOW! THERE'S A WAR TO BE WON!

Kyo: (blushing) Well, there's this… boy.

Kyo: A boy eh?

Haru: (white) A BOY!

Kyo: Yes, yes… a boy… got that? It was a cute boy too… a little boy toy…

Kagura: I KNEW IT! I KNEW I WAS BEING REPLACED!

Yuki: This boy doesn't exist. He's a figment of our favourite – oh geez, did I say favourite – err… 'ratcart's' imagination.

Kyo: I have no imagination. I have no life. I may as well just…

Kyo: (slaps himself) Don't be like that! Things'll look up! One day!

Kyo: AS IF! I'm a mutant… a freak…

Kyo: (cracks knuckles) And I can't beat rat boy…

Kureno: OHHHHHHHH!

Akito: YOU'RE CRAZY! CRAZY! BAD ROOSTER! BAD ROOSTER! GO AWAY! AWAY FROM ME!

Tohru: A CHICKEN? WHERE! WE CAN HAVE EGGS FOR TEA!

Kureno: (winces and comes back to earth) OUCH! That'd require some dude humping me in the arse right?

Tohru: RIGHT!

Kureno: Sounds saucy!

Akito: IT… S… SOUNDS… SO… YOU BETRAYER! YOU BETRAYED ME AND MY TRUST! OH MY POOR TRUST!

Yuki: (wails) OH HER POOR, POOR, TRUST…

Akito: Shut up.

Tohru: I'll go put the frying pan on… and slip on an apron… naked…

Slut: BITCH!

Kagura: LET ME SLIP ON A NAKED APRON TOO!

Tohru: We can be naked together…

Kyo: Greeeeat…

Shigure: Dude, where's my car?

Ayame: Dude, where IS your car?

Tohru: Oh, I tried to drive it and it went over a cliff. I'm dead. You're talking to a dead person.

Kyo: AN 80 YEAR OLD RA ROBOT JEDI MAN HAS INVADED THE LANDING SPACE! WARNING! WARNING!

Kyo: I just spoke, don't be a dickhead.

Yuki: Kyo, why are you speaking to yourself?

Haru: Uhh… if you'd tune in back up… (points up) there, then you'd happen to notice that Kyo has a split personality.

Akito: He's getting up Kureno for betraying me. MONSTER! YOU'RE ALL MONSTERS!

Haru: Really…

Shigure: No, don't start…

Kagura: Really really?  
Haru: (nods) Really.

Shigure: NO!

Kagura: REALLY really really?

Shigure: (claps hands over his ears) NO! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Haru: Really really.

Kagura: REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY…

Kyo: Kagura, stop, really.

Momiji: Really re… (Shigure slammed him over the head with Kagura's frying pan)

Kagura: NOT MY FRYING PAN!

Kyo: HELL NO, ANYTHING BUT THE FRYING PAN!

Kyo: The frying pan's kinda dinted now.

Kyo: Nuh, ya think?

Kagura: (furious) YOU CORRUPTED IT! YOU CORRUPTED IT BY TAINTING IT WITH THAT CORRUPTED LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT'S TAINTED HEAD!

Tohru: Now _that's _where my best frying pan went.

Kagura: (nods animatedly while slamming Shigure mercilessly with it) Yep! It's my baby.

Yuki: Yours and Kyo's?

Kagura: NO! Metal Man's.

Kyo: FINALLY! She's moved on!

Kyo: I wouldn't bet on it…

Kagura: KYO! NO! I CHEATED ON YOU AND I FEEL SOOOO BAD!

Kyo: Oh no don't, seriously.

Tohru: Can I have it back? Just, I need to cook wi… (Kagura slams the frying pan over Tohru's head)

Yuki: This is quite an interesting game. (sings happily) One of these peoples, is gonna get smashed next…

Ayame: YUKI MY BOY! MY BROTHER! MY FRIEND! Be a good dear and sacrifice your little ratty runty body for a meal to cook over the fire!

Momiji: I JUST FOUND CHOCOLATE COATED PEANUTS!

Kagura: They're melted.

Akito: I MELTED THEM! I'M GOD!

Kureno: (on one knee in front of Akito) Darling, I think I'm pregnant. Will you marry me?

Akito: PREGNANT! MARRIAGE! WHAT NEXT? A GRUESOME DOUBLE MURDER?

Haru: (evil glint) I can comply with that…

Kyo: I'M TAKING THE BEADS OFF AND THROWING MYSELF OVER THIS LOG!

Kyo: NO! DON'T!

Kureno: (scowls heavily) DON'T… TOUCH… THE LOG!

Akito: TRAITOR! Now I know where your heart really lies…

Kyo: With a log?

Kureno: I'm pregnant dear, please make space for PMS.

Ayame: I have the PERFECT maternal attire. You'll just LOVE it.

Yuki: Kyo, go flying through the roof for me.

Kyo: I'M BUSY HERE! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE?

Kyo: YEAH!  
The Phantom: I'm there, inside your mind, if you have any chocolate lolly sticks, throw them now.

Kyo: WHY can't I just kill myself in peace?  
Shigure: Well, technically, we need to catch a ride home, and you're a 'ratcart'.

Tohru: Where ARE we?

Yuki: (whispers) In the middle of a page of paper…

Shigure: Should we go back up, back the way we came?  
Akito: NO! (bursts into tears) There are too many hurtful memories.

Momiji: OOPS! KURENO'S GOING INTO LABOUR!

Kureno: NO I'M NOT!

Kagura: But that's what he WOULD say if…

Shigure: (dryly) if he was, yes yes, we get the picture.

Ernie: Beeeea boooe, beeea boooo…

Hatori: Yes… we… speak… English…

Yuki: IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

Kagura: WHAT IS!

Tohru: KURENO! IT'S KURENO!

Everybody: (turns to Kureno)

Kureno: (groans and gives birth to eggs)

Akito: Awww… they're so fricking cute… now fricking squash them before I fricking come over there and fricking murder them fricking slowly….

Kyo: KAGURA! COME TO ME BABY! I'M HIGH AND COMPLETELY OUTTA MY MIND! YOU HORNY DEVIL!

Kagura: KYO! THE HORNS ARE THERE TO KEEP THE HALO STRAIGHT, GOT THAT?

Kyo: (sheepishly) No, I don't, but I'll pretend…

Shigure: (shaking head) That's not your quote Kagura, you quoted somebody else.

Tohru: LOOK! THE WORLD IS SPINNING!

_**And indeed it was. You see, she fainted, fell through the earth, and went to hell where she got quite acquainted with and married the Devil and they all live happily ever after.**_

Kyo: TOHRU CAN'T FALL THROUGH THE EARTH!

Kagura: Kyo, I'll give you my horns.

Hatori: I believe we should have a Sohma Family Mental Institution.

Yuki: ROLL UP, ROLL UP! PUT YOUR REVIEWS HERE IF YOU VOTE FOR A SOHMA FAMILY MENTAL INSTITUTION! (winks)

Momiji: I SEE DEAD PEO… (Kagura hit him over the head again…)

**_Ahh… uh huh…. Ooh! Okies, Seeya!_**


End file.
